Left to Myself

RISE AND SHINE FOR JESUS!
By Pam Iannello (my late mother)

Proverbs 29:15 (KJV)
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

When a mother reads this verse she should be seriously challenged. And not in just one aspect of parenting! Clearly the Bible forces us to face up to our responsibility to raise our sons and daughters. Not only that, we must carry this procedure out in a balanced fashion, employing the rod and reproof; spanking and counsel. When this transpires, wisdom is furnished to a child. How much wisdom are your children acquiring, dear mother? The answer depends upon your use of the rod and reproof and your overall involvement in your child’s life.

In cases where God’s methods of child rearing are ignored, abandoned, postponed, or debated, many children end up in a state that the Bible refers to as “left to himself”. That means that any child from infancy to adolescence should not be left to figure things out on their own. That is why God gave us all parents! Sadly, many mothers today are guilty of pushing away their children; of sending them off to occupy themselves with whatever they settle on. Unfortunately, it’s easy to spot a child that has been left to himself; in fact, they may as well be wearing a t-shirt that says so!

“LEFT TO MYSELF”

Ladies, children don’t know how to make wise decisions apart from mature, adult supervision. Certainly it is possible that they might pick the right thing on rare occasions but the risks are too high to leave a child to himself! Proverbs 29:15 says that mothers are brought to shame not because fathers aren’t important, but because we are the ones who spend the most time with our children in their early years of life. And mother, just because you live under the same roof with your child doesn’t mean you are involved with your kids at a level that is pleasing to God… Take the time to read the questions below and consider whether or not your sons or daughters might be/have been left to themselves:

  1. Are they left to decide when and what they want for meals?
  2. Do you leave your children to select their own friends?
  3. Are they allowed to decide on their own recreational activities?
  4. Are your children left to their own music, movie, and television choices?
  5. Do you put your little ones in “time-out”, expecting them to counsel themselves properly, while only owning a childish heart?
  6. Do you permit your children to throw a fit until they are too exhausted to continue? 
  7. Is your child only required to behave in a sociably acceptable and mannerly fashion “if they feel like it”?
  8. Are they left to organize their own speech?
  9. Are your children allowed to set their own bedtime, regardless of their age?
  10. Do you rush your children off when they come to you with their problems?
  11. Do you push your children away when you are busy doing your own thing?
  12. Who governs how your child spends their spare time?
  13. If you home school, who is choosing the curriculum, setting the school schedule and performance requirements?
  14. Are your children left to spend money however they want?
  15. Is it up to your teenager at what hour he or she will come home?
  16. Do you have any say in the clothes your child wears or how they wear their hair?
  17. Are your children permitted to carry out parental requests in their own time frame?
  18. Do you make your child’s attitude your business? 
  19. Is it entirely up to your teenager where they will work part-time?
  20. Who decides what your child does on the computer?
  21. Can your child own/talk on a cell phone apart from any parental guidelines?
  22. Are you aware of the interest your child is showing toward the opposite sex and wisely guiding them or have you deemed it “their business”?
  23. Do you permit your children to decide whether or not they will attend church, even though they still live under your roof?
  24. Is it also their decision as to whether or not they bring a Bible to church and open it during the preaching?
  25. Do you leave your child to decide whether or not they feel like participating in congregational singing?

As we ponder this list of questions we are confronted with the realization that parenting is a major investment in the life of a young person. No wonder many parents prefer to leave their children to themselves… It’s always easier if everybody is left to do their own thing – mother and child. But it isn’t what is best and it certainly isn’t acceptable to God! And in the end, the Bible says mothers will be brought to shame for choosing the path of least resistance. Ladies, use your time and your role wisely while you have your children with you. Don’t permit your child to follow his own will without restraint or chastening. Choose wisdom over ease.

God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2

Copyright 2007 Pamela A. Iannello

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