Motherly Evaluation
RISE AND SHINE FOR JESUS!
By
Pam Iannello (my late mother)
A
ministry of New Beginnings Baptist Church @ www.nbbconline.com
Evaluating Myself As A Mother: How do I relate to my
children?
Because we are a church that targets home life, it is
easy to note when and where Christian mothers are weakening in their
mothering skills. When there is slackness to the practice of child training,
like it or not, a lack of humble obedience permitted
in your home shows up in the various church ministries in which children
are involved, as well as in a variety of other social settings.
Are your children able to submit
to authority without question or complaint?
1 Tim. 3:4-5 (KJV)
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection
with all gravity; [5] (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how
shall he take care of the church of God?)
Put aside your thoughts of other mothers right now
and stop and consider whether or not YOU have begun to waver in your dealings
with YOUR children. Do you vacillate
between the right and wrong way to correct them, or question whether discipline
is needed at all? Very often there is a parental tendency to view one’s offspring
as sufferers of someone or something rather than small, medium, or large
persons capable of committing their own acts of sin!
Ladies,
children do not need to understand or approve what they are asked to do, but must do so
because it is the parent’s command, or any fixed authority for that matter.
Whose strength of command is greatest in your home, yours or
your children?
Psalm 127:3 (KJV)
Lo,
children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
The Bible says that our children are GOD’S
inheritance. And so it is when we stray away from the fact that the fruit of
the womb is HIS reward, we will warp our style of parenting. Therefore, by way
of observation and reflection I have assembled an assortment of ways that
parents often relate to their children so that we can take inventory and adjust
our parental viewpoint as needed. I hope you will take the time to prayerfully
ponder whether or not you are guilty of any attitudes opposite of the one
God expects us to have toward our offspring.
If God has given us children, we better know how to receive and educate
HIS heritage!
YOUR CHILDREN
ARE NOT:
YOUR TROPHY
(symbolic of achievment; a token of skill)
Psalm 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”
Isaiah
8:18, “Behold, I and the
children whom the Lord hath given me are for signs and for wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts,
which dwelleth in mount Zion.
YOUR PET (a
little creature fondled and indulged)
Matthew 10:37, “He that loveth father
or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not
worthy of me.
Proverbs 19:18, “Chasten thy son while
there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”
YOUR GUIDANCE
COUNSELOR (one who is authorized to advise another)
Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct thee
and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”
Psalm 48:14, “For this God is our
God for ever and ever: he
will be our guide even unto death.”
YOUR TUTOR (a
private instructor employed to assist students in preparing for exams)
John 14:26, “But the Comforter,
which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all
things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”
Proverbs 31:1, “The words of king
Lemuel, the prophecy that
his mother taught him.”
YOUR HOLY
SPIRIT (the sanctifier of souls; the convincer of sin)
John 16:7-8,
“Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for
if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will
send him unto you. [8] And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of
righteousness, and of judgment:”
John 16:13, “Howbeit
when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he
shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak:
and he will shew you
things to come.”
YOUR SPOUSE
(either member of a married pair)
Matthew 19:4-5, “And he answered and
said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made
them male and female, [5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be
one flesh?”
1 Cor. 7:34, “There is
difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the
things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she
that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
YOUR SLAVE (a
person used to do your work)
Proverbs 31:27, “She looketh well to the
ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
1 Thes. 4:11, “And that ye study to be quiet, and
to do your own business,
and to work with your own
hands, as we commanded you;”
YOUR
ASSOCIATE (a partner in all your endeavors)
Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and
submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give
account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is
unprofitable for you.”
1 Peter
5:5a, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder.”
YOUR
COMPETITION (striving to obtain advantage over some other person or group)
Deut. 5:16, “Honour thy father and thy mother,
as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and
that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Philip. 2:3a, “Let nothing be done
through strife or vainglory…
Galatians 5:26, “Let us not be
desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”
YOUR BOSS
(domineering, authoritative, superintends affairs, manager)
Genesis 1:28, “And God blessed them,
and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over
the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth
upon the earth.”
Ephes. 5:22, “Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.”
(not your children!)
Example:
Judges 14:2, “And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said,
I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now
therefore get her for me to wife.”
YOUR PARENT
(a father or mother; God-ordained overseers of their offspring; authority in
the home)
Ephes. 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord:
for this is right.”
Ephes. 5:23, “For the husband is the head
of the wife, even as
Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
A THIRD PARENT
(shared authority)
Titus 2:9, “Exhort
servants to be obedient unto
their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;”
Ex: Luke
10:40, “Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said,
Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her
therefore that she help me.”
Martha sported an attitude as if she were
Mary’s mother and not her sister!
YOUR JUDGE
(one qualified to pass a critical judgment)
Proverbs 6:20, “My son, keep thy
father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”
Proverbs 30:11, “There is a generation
that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.”
Proverbs 30:17, “The eye that mocketh
at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall
pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”
YOUR SCAPE
GOAT (one who is made to bear the blame or suffer in your place)
Job 19:4, “And be it indeed that
I have erred, mine error
remaineth with myself.”
Deut. 24:16, “The fathers shall not
be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death
for the fathers: every man
shall be put to death for his own sin.”
Galatians 6:5, “For every man shall
bear his own burden.”
Romans 14:12, “So then every one of
us shall give account of himself to God.”
Example:
Genesis 3:12-13, “And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me,
she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. [13] And the Lord God said unto the
woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled
me, and I did eat.”
YOUR SECURITY
BLANKET (used as a covering for certain conditions)
Psalm 118:8-9, “It is better to trust
in the Lord than to put confidence in man. [9] It is better to trust in the
Lord than to put confidence in princes.”
Proverbs 28:13, “He that covereth his
sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have
mercy.”
Jeremiah 3:25, “We lie down in our
shame, and our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the Lord our
God, we and our fathers, from our youth even unto this day, and have not obeyed
the voice of the Lord our God.”
YOUR GARBAGE
CAN ( a place where you dump your trash)
1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your care
upon him; for he
careth for you.”
Psalm 55:22, “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he
shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
Psalm 50:15, “And call upon me in the day
of trouble: I will
deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”
A TOOL IN
YOUR TOOL KIT (a person used by another for his own ends)
Romans 6:13, “Neither yield ye your
members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves
unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as
instruments of righteousness unto God.”
Example: Matthew
20:20-24,
“Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children
with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him.
[21] And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these
my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in
thy kingdom. [22] But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye
able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the
baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. [23] And he
saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the
baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left,
is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of
my Father. [24] And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation
against the two brethren.”
**Read
Story of Herodias Mt.14:1-11**
Proverbs 20:11, “Even a child is known
by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”
YOUR DREAM
COME TRUE (your personal desires acted out in your children)
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the
thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of
evil, to give you an
expected end.”
Lament. 3:26, “It is good that a man
should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
Psalm 37:4, “Delight thyself also
in the Lord; and he shall
give thee the desires of thine heart.”
Ladies, if you press your child into any one of
these positions, and many mothers and fathers do, you force them to live
independently of parental authority, thus forsaking your duty to prepare them
for GOD’S use and glory. Not
relating to your children in a Biblical manner will seriously affect your
training skills as a parent. You will tend to warp or even withhold
correction if you think your child your equal or even better than you. No
matter how old they are, if your children are functioning in any capacity other than that
of child, YOU have created a monster! Not to mention the fact that you
have also perverted God’s authority over your life and misunderstood the
purpose for the fruit of your womb.
Evaluate yourself today.
Have you, as a mother, adopted a self-serving style of parenting or
followed a truly Biblical style?
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
Train up a child in the way
he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from
it.
The reason this verse doesn’t always come true is
because of a training problem, not because God is wrong! Children must be
raised entirely dedicated to God and HIS glory, not in ways dedicated to
your
purposes or simply left to their own fleshly ideas or desires. Parenting
is not just pointing out mistakes but guiding
children’s hearts and minds in the way they should go – with respect
to the Word of God; thereby avoiding mistakes and ensuring that
submission is achievable. Training is not simply the enforcing of rules but is
more developing the will of the child to obey authority, thus forming habits of obedience that will
greatly affect their walk with the Lord! Ladies, pay attention to the
way you talk with your children – are you acting like the child or the parent?
Are you placing parental decisions into their hands; are you permitting them to
have the upper hand in daily settings?
Who is the adult in your house? How are your children talking to you and
relating to you? How are they responding to you as a parent? Are they taking over your role
or submitting to it? How would God
answer that question? It’s time for a motherly evaluation!
God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
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