Old Fashioned Concerns

Rise and Shine for Jesus! \O/

By Pam Iannello (my late mother)

For the sake of space, I want you to take a moment before proceeding through today's devotion to first read Matthew 25:31-45 and Galatians 6:9-10, the latter reference which I'll include below.  Then ponder this question:  How can these verses give wisdom and encouragement for those who are the primary caretakers of older parents?  What thoughts and feelings do you experience as you think about the reality of your parents getting older?  What are some of the changes older people experience? Can you take a moment today out of your busy schedule to consider them? 

And let us not be weary in well doing:  for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

I think you'll find as I did that we must minister to our parents (or any older person) with sensitivity to the changes they are undergoing.  As our parents climb in age, they will most likely find themselves becoming more needy of others, when for so many years they have been used to taking care of themselves.  Some admit and accept their newfound need of assistance with grace and glory, and some stubbornly do not!  But whatever we find our parents attitude may be toward the reality of old age, our attitude toward them must remain reverent. Oftentimes youth is prone to lose respect when parental agility of mind and body has waned.  Benjamin Franklin said, "When the well's dry, we know the worth of the water."  I hope that because the shoulders of your parents may now stoop, though their steps may have slowed, though their memory may fail them at times, you have not made these excuses to treat them irreverently in their old age!  Do not forget their worth. To reject father or mother in an elderly state is to reject a large part of what life holds for us all!  The truth is that aging and dying are two things we will all have to face. And within the pages of scripture, the Lord sends an earnest call to the young to be tender toward the aging…

Proverbs 23:22 (KJV)

Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

In the busyness of our youthful days, we can tend to overlook the changes that our parents may be experiencing.  While we are engrossed with building our homes, our marriages, our ministries, our future, we can fail to notice the transitions our parents may be wrestling with, keeping these things concealed and not wanting to burden people around them. In some cases they are subjected to isolation and loneliness.  Some of their closest and lifelong friends are passing off into eternity and sorrow is more a part of their lives than ever before.  Fear of all types of medical problems and eventually death may be real to them as they see time slipping away and their own bodies deteriorating on a daily basis.  We are becoming more estimable, and they are becoming less estimable, according to society.  They are losing their beauty, their strength, their health, their success, and their accomplishments.  Because of this, our parents, or any aging person can begin to feel less valuable.  And because of these issues, the Lord commands us to be tender toward the aged.  Their circumstances do not lessen a child’s duty; in fact, God’s Word commands children to strengthen their duty to their parents! The Lord instructs us to hearken unto our father and despise not our mother – their age (or ours!) isn’t a license to revise the way we relate to them. The Bible instructed us to obey them as children and we are commanded to carry on with the same reverent attitude later in life. Ladies, let us not resent what our role must be in caring for our parents! Many of us enjoyed the privilege of having a mother and father who faithfully raised us without regret and did not despise having children. Surely we could and should give back what we received at their hand! Yes, God places value upon the aged and so must we. Honoring the aged is a holy rule that must constantly be impressed upon every new generation…

Leviticus 19:32 (KJV)

Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God:  I am the Lord.

Proverbs 16:31 (KJV)

The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

In light of what we've covered so far, how can you show honor to your parents in their present stage of life?  Are you showing honor? How can you and your folks prepare for what may be ahead? While our parents are still healthy and vibrant it is hard to imagine that those who cared for us when we were helpless may someday require the same type of care. Women typically become the primary caretakers for their parents and maybe even their husbands’ parents as well.  And so, it is helpful to be prepared for this possibility instead of being surprised by it, amen?  Why wait to make important decisions concerning the care of parents when there is a great deal of emotion and stress attached to the situation?  Discuss and plan now, for you know the time will eventually come.  Do it while your family members can think properly and objectionably and within control of the Holy Spirit.  If older people are a concern to the Lord, then they should be to us as well! Ladies, we better change our feelings and attitudes toward the elderly if they are not what God has shown us they should be!  Let's incorporate God's plan for ministry and apply it to the aging as found in the verses I asked you to read from Matthew chapter 25:

• I was hungry - and ye gave me meat.
• I was thirsty - and ye gave me drink.
• I was a stranger - and ye took me in.
• Naked - and ye clothed me.
• I was sick - and ye visited me.
• I was in prison - and ye came unto me.  (nursing home??)

These are some of the ways that we will most likely find we could be called upon to care for any aged person.  Are you willing to meet their needs in any way necessary or are there a few on the list that you would refuse to do?  Can't find the time to visit your Dad in the nursing home more than once a month?  Can't take the time to feed a parent yourself, or sit and fellowship over a good meal, offering them the comfort of your loving companionship for a few hours? I’ve noticed that since my father died, my mother doesn’t have as much of an appetite when she is alone as when she has company… Since she lives out of state she enjoys a simple little thing like me calling her during her mealtime so she doesn’t have to eat alone. And my mother also appreciates it when other family members that live nearby invite her for dinner or take her out.  Ladies, these are simple little sacrifices that mean a lot to our parents or any older person! Is going to the hospital to visit your mother while you are out running errands too much trouble because of the hour it may get you home?  Are you truly willing to feed, clothe, and visit a destitute representative of Christ? Would you be glad to do it for them, or resent them for having brought this "hassle" into your life right now?  How many of these needs would you pass off to an outside person, someone your mother or father doesn't even know as well as you?  Will you be too busy to notice the needs of the elderly in general?  Will you exclude your parents from your life simply because their needs are too great, or will you continue to include them, no matter what the cost? Should your father or mother be forgotten just because they are suffering and/or their strength has left them – or because they weren’t a perfect parent? Do you want to be disregarded when you enter that season of life? These are some basic issues that we need to consider when we weigh out the transitions our aging parents may soon be faced with or already find is on their doorstep. 

2 Cor. 4:16 (KJV)

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

Ladies, do not be deceived by the outward appearance of the elderly, for inwardly those that know the Lord are as young as ever!  I want to share a poem with you that an 88-year-old Christian lady wrote.  I think she explains this concept perfectly....

YOU TELL ME I AM GETTING OLD

You tell me I am getting old - I tell you that's not so!

The "house" I live in is worn out, and that, of course, I know.

It's been in use a long, long while; it’s weathered many a gale;

I'm really not surprised you think it’s getting somewhat frail.

The color changing on the roof, the window getting dim,

The walls a bit transparent and looking rather thin…

The foundation not as steady as once it used to be -

My "house" is getting shaky - true, but my "house" is not ME!

My few short years can't make me old; I feel I'm in my youth.

Eternity lays just ahead, a life of joy and truth!

I'm going to live forever there; life will go on - it's grand!

You tell me I am getting old - you just don't understand…

The dweller in my little "house" is young and bright and gay;

Just starting on a life to last throughout eternal day.

You only see the outside, which is all that most folks see…

You tell me I am getting old? You've mixed my "house" with ME! 

I like her attitude, don't you? I hope that as you go about planning your life day by day, you’ll be quick to incorporate what the Lord would have you to do for the sake of the elderly within your sphere of influence.  Yes, they might seem like one of the least important responsibilities to you, but there is still life left in those bent and wrinkled persons – particularly the ones you call Mom and Dad! And what you’ve done to them, you’ve done to Christ…

Matthew 25:40 (KJV)

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

How would your behavior change if you treated each person in your life as if he or she were Jesus?

God Bless,

Pam

Isaiah 60:1&2

Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello

Revised 2006